Just turned it in. I feel like I’ve been run over by semi. Feeling majorly uncomfortable about this one (and the 5th story). I can already hear the comments in my head about this one. But it’s done.
In other “fun” news, my mom is scheduled for surgery tomorrow. It only took a month to get this to happen. I hope I don’t have to drop out of the workshop. I’ve worked my ass off, having a schedule that’s booked down to the minute at work and then at home, handling “house” stuff, cat stuff, stuff for my mom. Looking back, I don’t know how I finished any of these stories this month. It’s all a flashback from 2014 and 2015. All month, I’ve had to stand up for my time and my writing. People kept treating me like I was being selfish and that my little stories weren’t important compared to everything else that was going on here. So, I became a werebitch and I wrote my little stories that mean nothing. It’s not like I make a living writing. How could I when I barely have time to write much less publish it electronically. Sigh. Some day, if I don’t Hulk up everything in my path and go to prison, I will write full time. And maybe then my family will see me as a real writer.
January 24, 2016 /
Done and turned in.
According to x-rays, my mom has 2 fractured vertebraes. Hopefully, they’ll get her admitted to the hospital on Monday and perform surgery. She can’t take much more pain. Osteoporosis is a horrible disease that sneaks up on people and slowly destroys their bones. It has made my mom’s life miserable since 2008.
Done and turned in.
Completing this one was nothing short of miraculous. A major struggle even get to a keyboard.
My mom’s condition is still bad with multiple issues including a severe kidney infection and a high likelihood that she has another fractured vertebrae. All last week, I begged her to let me take her to the hospital, but she just won’t go. The surgery is a very unpleasant and painful experience for her. Just getting the MRI is extremely painful for her and it can’t be done on a standard unit because lying down causes her excruciating pain. So we have to drive an hour to each way to use an MRI machine that allows her to sit up. And then the surgery which is a difficult experience for someone with such a bad back and she is 82 now, so the process just sucks all the way around.
Sorry for the complaining. I just feel so frustrated and stressed. And I feel like I’m right back where I started in 2014 with nothing to show for it. Just feel like I lose more ground every year and can’t gain any. I barely have time to write these days much less manage all the tasks that go into indie publishing. The tasks aren’t hard, but they just require time I don’t have. Stress has a way of seriously wounding creativity. I am really struggling…
Story 3, done. And turned in.
And…my mom has injured her back again. Has probably fractured another vertebrae. And the cat’s sick. Performance evals are due early for all my staff. And a hundred thousand other things conspiring to mess up my life. Why the fuck does this happen to me every single year? This is exactly what happened in 2014, when I came home from the workshop. It made me miss last year’s workshop, too. It’s getting harder and harder for me to keep writing. I just got back to writing in November and the fucking world has decided to bitch-slap me again. I’m fighting back this time. I. AM. NOT. QUITTING. Y’hear me?!?! Take your best shot because I am writing through this shit.
December 20, 2015 /
Turned it in, so it’s done. Still 4 more to go…
Short story 1 of 6, done and turned in. Monday begins week #2. Getting back on the horse felt good, even if it did throw me off five or six times, once into a stream. Finishing felt good. All week long, my brain woke me up in the middle of the night, correcting my ideas. 2 a.m., 4 a.m. and I’m bleary-eyed, typing notes and new ideas into my phone’s note app. A very weird process this time, one that I hope doesn’t continue this week. On to the next one.
Forgot to post today’s total so far.
Final word count: 50152 words.
Didn’t get to post totals for Day 27 & 28 due to Thanksgiving / family get-togethers and such.
At any rate. Got a lot of interesting things figured out about this book. I understand a ton of the elements better than I did when I started.
2K more to complete NaNoWriMo and then I need to tear this whole thing apart and start again. Soon. At the moment, stress from my world is just killing me. My brother’s in the hospital (knee issue, he’ll be fine). Mom fell in the kitchen Friday night after I went to bed. By some miracle, she didn’t break anything. Her entire face and right side are black and blue, but she didn’t break anything. My life literally flashed before my eyes on Saturday. This exact thing happened almost 2 years ago to the day and I just don’t think I can go through another year of doing everything for everybody. Yes, I feel terribly selfish for thinking this, but I’m about six feet from the edge and I just can’t be responsible for anything or anyone else.
Anyway…two thousand more words. Should be able to get that done by today or tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving, guys! Hope you had a wonderful day. It was 62 and sunny here, gorgeous weather!
Struggled to get in some wordage, but managed a few pages. Nighters!
Listening to: Dark Sky Island by Enya
Off work the next two days, but will have a house full of company. Not sure how successful I’ll be at getting words written while family is here. But will try my damnedest.
Still bouncing around through the story, writing things out of order. Which feels kind of fun because I’ve never written like this before. It feels very uncomfortable, but I’m not going to interfere with the change. If there’s one thing I’ve learned across my twenty-year career, it is to get out of my own way. If my writer brain wants to write like this, I’m just going to stand back and see what happens. It’s just so different from my traditional process. So, I’m going to see it as an opportunity and follow this rabbit hole to wherever it leads. Nighters.
Listening to: 25 by Adele