Watermarks

Just turned it in. I feel like I’ve been run over by semi. Feeling majorly uncomfortable about this one (and the 5th story). I can already hear the comments in my head about this one. But it’s done.

In other “fun” news, my mom is scheduled for surgery tomorrow. It only took a month to get this to happen. I hope I don’t have to drop out of the workshop. I’ve worked my ass off, having a schedule that’s booked down to the minute at work and then at home, handling “house” stuff, cat stuff, stuff for my mom. Looking back, I don’t know how I finished any of these stories this month. It’s all a flashback from 2014 and 2015. All month, I’ve had to stand up for my time and my writing. People kept treating me like I was being selfish and that my little stories weren’t important compared to everything else that was going on here. So, I became a werebitch and I wrote my little stories that mean nothing. It’s not like I make a living writing. How could I when I barely have time to write much less publish it electronically. Sigh. Some day, if I don’t Hulk up everything in my path and go to prison, I will write full time. And maybe then my family will see me as a real writer.

Done and turned in.

Completing this one was nothing short of miraculous. A major struggle even get to a keyboard.

My mom’s condition is still bad with multiple issues including a severe kidney infection and a high likelihood that she has another fractured vertebrae. All last week, I begged her to let me take her to the hospital, but she just won’t go. The surgery is a very unpleasant and painful experience for her. Just getting the MRI  is extremely painful for her and it can’t be done on a standard unit because lying down causes her excruciating pain. So we have to drive an hour to each way to use an MRI machine that allows her to sit up. And then the surgery which is a difficult experience for someone with such a bad back and she is 82 now, so the process just sucks all the way around.

Sorry for the complaining. I just feel so frustrated and stressed. And I feel like I’m right back where I started in 2014 with nothing to show for it. Just feel like I lose more ground every year and can’t gain any. I barely have time to write these days much less manage all the tasks that go into indie publishing. The tasks aren’t hard, but they just require time I don’t have. Stress has a way of seriously wounding creativity. I am really struggling…